Having sex is one of the most satisfying things in the world. And it should not just be limited to physical satisfaction but should also be emotional satisfaction. However, not everyone is so great when it comes to sexual intercourse. While many get performance anxiety, there are others who make other mistakes that make their sex act not so satisfying and fulfilling. If you are also one of those, here are some of the common sex mistakes you should avoid at all costs.
One of the biggest mistakes one can do is not communicate with the partner. Communication is that foreplay which can lead to the utmost pleasure in sex. You should talk to your partner about what’s working out for you and what’s not, what’s giving pleasure and what’s causing pain. This way, you would know whether your partner is also enjoying or not.
Don’t get distracted by your phone
This is the most important thing when you are with your partner in bed. You must stop using your phone, because it diverts your mind and lowe your intimacy level which is the worse thing while making love. Psychologist Manjula MK, who is affiliated with several NGOs, says, “Making love is an intimate act, and when you extricate yourself from it to check what’s going on with other aspects of your life and the outside world, you’re taking away from the intimacy. If you have something pressing to tend to, make it a point to attend to it before or after sex. If there is an urgent need to communicate with anyone, don’t take or make any phone calls. Wait until you are done. It is hurtful to ignore someone who’s naked with you in bed, and giving you his 100 per cent, while you chatter away with someone else who’s invading the moment.”
Don’t fake your orgasm
Women are guilty of this, more often than not. There may be several reasons for it, one of them being that the lovemaking process becomes a chore for them, since they’re not invested enough. So they want to end it by saying they have attained orgasm. “To me, foreplay and making out were always more pleasurable than penetrative sex, which used to cause me pain. I didn’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings, so I would go through with it and fake an orgasm quickly to finish with the tediousness of it all. Once I got comfortable with him, I was able to address the issues that bothered me. Since then, we have figured other ways of pleasuring ourselves, and I’ve also discovered the joys of a good lubricant!” shares 31-year-old dancer Mythili Durai*.
Stop saying wrong things
Bringing up stuff that kills the romance during sex is an absolute no. You don’t need to talk about body parts that you feel are out of shape, or bring up your parents or dog or boss in the conversation, or generally keep jabbering about things that could be potential turn-offs. Leave these generic conversations for other neutral times, or postpone them at least until the post-sex cuddles. While in the act, keep the communication flirty, romantic, and even get bold enough to talk dirty. Most importantly, do not scream out another man’s name while you are in the throes of passion!
Not practising safe sex
This one is a no-brainer, but we’ll go for it anyway. Before you decide to have sex, keep tabs on all the things you want to avoid, including STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Get yourself checked by a gynaecologist and assess your sexual health. Both you and your partner should ideally take an HIV test, and stay exclusive to each other, if you’re having sex regularly. On a one-night stand, the least you can do is use a condom. If you’re in a long-term relationship that involves frequent sex, but don’t want to get pregnant.